1. I am satisfied with my sex life.	True	False
2. My partner doesn't really listen to me.	True	False
3. I trust my partner.	True	False
4. I feel picked on and put down.	True	False
5. I am hopeful about our future.	True	False
6. It is not easy to share my feelings.	True	False
7. My partner often says "I love you."	True	False
8. Sometimes I feel rage.	True	False
9. I feel appreciated	True	False
10. I am out of control.	True	False
11. My partner is there for me in hard times.	True	False
12. My partner is harsh in his or her criticism.	True	False
13. My partner understands me.	True	False
14. I fear my partner is bored.	True	False
15. My partner doesn't like to share what's on his or her mind.	True	False
16. I imagine myself divorced.	True	False
17. My relationship is what I always dreamed of.	True	False
18. I know I am right.	True	False
19. My partner treats me with dignity and respect.	True	False
20. My partner is a taker.	True	False
21. We often do fun things together.	True	False
22. Sometimes I just want to hurt my partner.	True	False
23. I feel loved.	True	False
24. I would rather lie than deal with a problem.	True	False
25. We still have a lot of passion in our relationship.	True	False
26. I am trapped with no escape.	True	False
27. My partner thinks I am fun to be with.	True	False
28. Our relationship has gotten boring.	True	False
29. We enjoy going out on dates alone.	True	False
30. My partner is ashamed of me.	True	False
31. We trust each other a great deal.	True	False
32. We have become nothing more than roommates.	True	False
33. I know my partner will never leave me.	True	False
34. I am no longer proud of my body.	True	False
35. My partner respects me.	True	False
36. My partner constantly compares me to others.	True	False
37. My partner still finds me desirable.	True	False
38. We just seem to want different things.	True	False
39. I am allowed to think for myself.	True	False
40. I feel crowded by my partner.	True	False
41. I am honest with my partner.	True	False
42. People have no idea what our relationship is really like.	True	False
43. My partner is open to suggestions.	True	False
44. My partner has shut me out.	True	False
45. My partner is my primary source of emotional support.	True	False
46. I feel judged and rejected by my partner.	True	False
47. My partner cares if I am upset or sad.	True	False
48. My partner treats me like a child.	True	False
49. My partner puts our relationship ahead of all others.	True	False
50. I'll never satisfy my partner.	True	False
51. My partner wants to hear my stories.	True	False
52. I chose my partner for the wrong reasons.	True	False
53. I look forward to our time together.	True	False
54. My partner thinks I am boring in bed.	True	False
55. My partner is lucky to have me.	True	False
56. My partner treats me like an employee.	True	False
57. I win my share of disputes.	True	False
58. I envy my friends' relationships.	True	False
59. My partner would protect me if necessary.	True	False
60. I am suspicious of my partner.	True	False
61. I feel needed by my partner.	True	False
62. My partner is jealous of me.	True	False

Now go back over your test and count all of the even-numbered questions to which you answered True. Now go back and count all of the odd-numbered items to which you answered False. Add that number to your "True total" to get your overall score.

Even-numbered "True" responses_________

Odd-numbered "False" _________

OVERALL TOTAL _________

If your overall score is above 32, it is likely that your relationship is in extreme danger of failing. If your total score is between 20 and 32, then your relationship is seriously troubled and you may be living in an "emotional divorce."  If your total score is between 12 and 19, then your relationship is probably above average (which is not great) and certainly needs work. If your score is below 11, then your relationship is well above the norm and may have isolated areas in which you can improve.

©2000 Phillip C. McGraw, Ph.D.

Phillip C. McGraw, Ph.D., has worked in the field of human functioning and strategic life planning for over twenty years.  He is the co-founder and president of Courtroom Sciences, Inc., and has been associated with some of the highest-profile litigation cases in the country, including Oprah's highly publicized "Mad Cow" suit.  A professional psychologist, he lives in Dallas, Texas, with his wife and family.